Tank’s Minty Fudge Delights


Howdy folks it’s Tank here with another of my favorite post-hunt treats. Whenever I’ve been out trackin’ the Squatch there’s not much I love more than a plate full of these super rich and decadent double chocolate cookies with a dash of peppermint.

Lately we’ve been running a lot of missions up in Northern California and that’s fine by me because the area around Humboldt has some of my favorite stores for cooking supplies. One corner store in particular has all my needs for usual work stuff like deer urine and squirrel essence but also some cocoa powder that is perfect for these cookies.

(Tank Tip: there are a lot of friendly farmers in Humboldt who will try to sell you bags of locally grown oregano but I cannot recommend it. It’s crazy expensive and tastes weird and just makes me hungrier)

It’s basically just butter and sugar and cocoa powder and chocolate chips and salt some other stuff. I’ve never been fussy enough for measuring or writing down ingredients or anything like that so I usually just dump it all in a bowl and mix it up. If you want more details I got the basic idea from minimalist baker dot com and added a few special secret ingredients to make it my own (jackalope milk for sweetness, poison sumac for mouthfeel). I think this is how you do links https://minimalistbaker.com/chewy-double-chocolate-peppermint-cookies/

If you don’t have regular salt handy then just use the kind you use to ward off wendigos. It’s coarser but works just as good. Make sure that your salt hasn’t been blessed by a shaman because that makes the cookies taste bland I mean it’s supposed to be sinful am I right lol?!

Once it’s all mixed up just roll the dough into balls about the size of a pellet of healthy female Skunkape scat. Not one that’s in estrus of course but hey if you want to go off your diet I won’t tell lol! They’ll flatten out when you bake them so space them out about the width of a standard flaying knife blade or a cursed raccoon paw. 

You might wanna make extra because these disappear faster than a Mothman in focus!

PS I feel bad about talking scat about Humboldt farmers for their nasty ass oregano so I’ll say in their defense they grow some of the best marijuana I’ve ever tried.


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